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RabidChild's Fic
31 December 2020 @ 06:26 am
These are all my one-shots or fics that are not part of a series. They are arranged by pairing, with Gen ones at the top.

Author's Note: Most of my stuff tends to be slash or OT3. Don't like? Don't read. Ye have been warned.

Any story with more than one sequel is considered a series, and will be listed in a separate Master List.

Ratings are in parentheses. If it's rated NC-17, it's pretty much gonna be smutastic. Dates are immediately after ratings, in the following format: MM/DD/YY

Gen Stories…Collapse )

Pairing: Neal/Peter…Collapse )

Pairing: Neal/Elizabeth…Collapse )

Pairing: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth…Collapse )

Pairing: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth/SaraCollapse )

Pairing: Neal/Jones…Collapse )

Pairing: Neal/Sara…Collapse )

Pairing: Neal/Other…Collapse )

Pairing: Peter/Other…Collapse )

Moz – alone and paired with others…Collapse )

Other Characters and Pairings…Collapse )
 
 
Current Music: Belle & Sebastian: White Collar Boy
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
30 December 2020 @ 02:53 pm
Below is a list of all my White Collar story series, as well as the crossovers

Five Times...
Yeah, you know you love teh schmoop. (Mostly schmoopy romance with some H/C and porn sprinkled in)

This series portrays the progression of the Burke/Caffrey/Burke relationship I've concocted in my brain. Each story includes a series of vignettes that progress over a number of years, from pre-series to post-anklet. Read all together, you'll have the full (and still-evolving) story, though most of them can be read standalone. This series is meant to parallel the storyline in canon up to the end of S2 (stupid Nazi treasure!) and then it's all in my head from that point on.

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Origins
This series delves into Neal's teen years. It began with an amnesia fic that featured a shy and innocent teen Neal emerging, and I just had to spend more time and ink on that young man's life. These are all pretty standalone; all assume Neal/Peter/Elizabeth established relationship. Very angsty.

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A Mental Rebellion
Series of ficlets detailing some sexy practical jokes Peter and Neal play on each other. Name is from the following quote by George Orwell: "Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.”

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Wangst
Just a series of cracky fics where Neal and Peter's dicks are sentient and wise.

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Reach Out and Touch Someone
Series of ficlets detailing what Neal and Sara get up to when they are apart that was born out of the 2011 Merry Month of Masturbation comm. God, I love fandom...

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Undeniable Chemistry
The Neal/Clinton relationship I never knew I always wanted... AU version of S3 events, without all that pesky treasure, kidnapping, and commutation mishegoss.

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The Princess Bride, by R. Child
The White Collar/Princess Bride fusion no one wanted.
(PG) Begun 4/15/12 (Romance! Adventure! ROUSs!)

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Fits and Starts
Just another series in which Neal and Peter come together and fall in love (with El's blessing, of course). Romantic slash.

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The Satchmo Cycle
Day-in-the-life fics told from Satchmo’s POV.

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Neal vs. the LOL Cat
I can’t even explain where this came from. Suffice to say Neal owns a LOL Cat. Named Henri. Rated G; just some crack with a side of H/C from time to time.

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The Kid Neal Chronicles
Series of fics set in an AU where Neal was deaged and never recovered, therefore Peter and Elizabeth adopt him and raise him as their son. The main story takes place when Neal is 11, and the rest are timestamps to other points in Neal's life as he grows up.

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Glee Crossover Series
The Glee/White Collar crossover no one ever wanted. Neal went to McKinley High. Suspend your disbelief…. NOW

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Star Trek: AOS Crossover Series
Because Neal Caffrey and Spock were meant to be, dammit!

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RabidChild's Fic
05 November 2014 @ 08:26 am
Title: Leaves in the River
Author: RabidChild
Artist: Kanarek13
Beta: Jouissant
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 12,300
Characters: Chris/Zach
Tags: High school/college AU; teen angst; Halloween
Summary: What happens when Chris goes to Carnegie Mellon University for a college visitin 1997 will change neither of them, but it makes for a nice story anyway.

This story was inspired by the lyrics of the song “Leaves in the River” by Sea Wolf.

This is my Pinto Big Bang.

Story on AO3
Art by Kanarek13


 
 
RabidChild's Fic
09 October 2014 @ 06:46 am
Title: The Pleasure of Your Company
Fandom: Pinto
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: 30k
Tags: Woke up married trope, slow build, the boys are clueless, friends to lovers, schmoop, weddings, basically if this was a het story it’d star Katherine Heigl or something and gross $20 mil its first weekend.
Summary: Chris and Zach get drunk-married in Vegas during the filming of the third Trek film, then have to live with the consequences when the news hits the tabloids.

Notes: From this prompt on the Pinto Kink Meme.

For the sake of this fic, we’ll assume that there is marriage equality in the great state of Nevada, m’kay?

----

“Last night, at the ceremony, you said you hoped that the Green Lantern ring would suffice, and you presented it to Mr. Quinto on bended knee,” Reverend James explained.

“I what?”

“He what?”

“You were very concerned with the legality as well, but really, the ring is just a formality. It’s the paperwork and the ceremony that make it all legal.”

“Make what all legal?” Zach asked and Chris didn’t think the shade of grey he’d turned could be any kind of indicator of good health.

“Why, your marriage, of course!” the reverend said with a laugh.

“Our… our… ” Zach turned wide eyes in Chris’s direction. “Chris?”

“Mazel tov?” Chris said as Zach hit the floor.
 
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
16 September 2014 @ 09:25 am
So I've been a little slow posting links to my fics on this journal. Here are a few Pinto stories I've written this summer:

Title: Crying Shame
Rating: General Audiences
Characters/Pairings: Chris/Zach
Tags: Crying
Word Count: 300
Summary: For this prompt on the kinkmeme: "Crying Chris. That's it. Just... all the crying Chrissy."

A/N: All hail the kink meme

Fic on AO3


Title: Control Me, Console Me
Rating: Mature
Characters/Pairings: Chris/Zach
Tags: BDSM, bondage, aftercare
Word Count: 2,600
Summary: Aftercare following an intense scene

A/N: Written for Chris Pine's Birthday Bash. Happy Day, Pie (please, please, please don't ever read this).

Title is a lyric from the song "Narc" by Interpol.

Fic on AO3


Title: In These Hands I'll Hide
Rating: Mature
Characters/Pairings: Chris/Zach
Tags: Hand porn, fluff, established relationship
Word Count: 700
Summary: Zach needs to stop obsessing over Chris's hands.

A/N: Title is a lyric from the song Old Skin by Ólafur Arnalds

Fic on AO3


Title: Manhandles
Rating: Explicit
Characters/Pairings: Chris/Zach
Tags: Size kink, feeding kink, internalized homophobia, established relationship
Word Count: 6,000
Summary: When Chris has to bulk up for the third Trek movie, Zach is more than happy to enjoy the results, not to mention feeding his boyfriend is one of his favorite hobbies. But when his newly-discovered size kink leads to him letting Chris top him for the first time, Zach has to deal with a few unresolved issues of his own.

A/N: All hail the kink meme

Fic on AO3


Title: You're the Top
Rating: Explicit
Characters/Pairings: Chris/Zach
Tags: PWP, seduction, rimming
Word Count: 4,000
Summary: Chris is used to topping in his sexual encounters with men, but Zach has been lusting after that ass of his from day one. Cue Zach pulling out all the stops to get Chris to agree to letting him top--begging, dirty talk, rimming, whatever else your heart desires. And of course, Chris eventually gives in.

A/N: Title is from the Cole Porter song of the same name, which includes this memorable lyric: "But if baby I'm the bottom, you're the top!"

All hail the kink meme

Fic on AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
16 September 2014 @ 09:07 am
Title: Perspective
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Kirk/Spock pre-relationship
Spoilers: STID
Content Notice: pre-relationship
Word Count: 1,900
Summary: Jim receives a video of a certain Vulcan’s fight with a certain superhuman.

A/N: For Kirk/Spock Day 2014

Read on AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: I’ll Find My Soul as I Go Home
Author: rabidchild
Artist: numberthescars
Universe: AOS
Characters/Pairings: Jim/Spock; Bones, Chekov, Carol Marcus, Sulu, Uhura, Gaila, Amanda, Sarek
Rating: Mature
Warnings/Tags: dubious consent; underage prostitution; past child abuse; attempted sexual assault; 1980s AU
Word Count: 33k
Summary: Spock is a lonely post-graduate student at Columbia who is just coming to terms with being gay. Jim is a bright, vivacious young man with as many secrets as scars. They both find an outlet for their emotions in the alternative club scene in late 1980s Manhattan – and in each other. But will Jim’s dark past ruin the tenuous relationship they’ve built?

Link to fic on AO3
Link to art: on LJ
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
20 July 2014 @ 02:40 pm
Title: A Mile in His Shoes
Fandom: Pinto
Rating: Teen
Characters/Pairings: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto established relationship; Katie Pine; Joe Quinto
Content Notice: Bodyswap; hurt/comfort; selfish Zachary is selfish; biphobia
Word Count: 12k
Summary: Zach wakes up in Chris’s body – time for wacky Freaky Friday shenanigans, right? Wrong.

Bodyswap trope with a twist.

Read it on the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
24 June 2014 @ 09:00 am
Title: First, 1/2
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: Explicit
Characters/Pairings: Jim/Spock; Bones; Gaila; Uhura; Scotty; OMC
Word Count: 7,300
Content Tags: Canon divergence; smut; fluff; UST; first time
Summary: It’s Jim’s first mission as Enterprise’s first officer and, well, he and Spock have an important “first” of their own to get to. Sequel to Next Best Destiny

Read it on the AO3
 
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
21 June 2014 @ 03:22 pm
Title: The Big Scene
Fandom: Pinto
Rating: Mature
Characters/Pairings: Chris Pine/Zach Quinto, Karl Urban, Zoë Saldana, Alan Ball (just go with it)
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: First time; UST; frottage
Word Count: 5,800
Summary: From this prompt on the Pinto Kink Meme: Chris and Zach's first kiss is during filming of the third movie, when Spirk becomes canon.

Read it on the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: Five Conversations about One Thing
Fandom: Pinto RPF
Rating: Explicit
Characters/Pairings: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Content Notice: First time; anal sex; prostate stimulation; Zach is clueless; Chris is a doofus
Word Count: 6,200
Summary: Chris likes ass play: a love story.

A/N: I have been meaning to write a fic inspired by this Reddit post, then someone prompted it on the new Pinto Kink Meme, and that was it.

Read it on the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
20 May 2014 @ 10:10 am


Title: Quondam Rex
Author: rabidchild
Universe: Reboot
Rating: General Audiences
Word count: ~31,000
Warnings: None
Characters/Pairings: Spock Prime, Jim Kirk, George Kirk, Sam Kirk, Spock, Amanda Grayson, Sarek; past Spock Prime/Jim Prime
Tags: Canon divergent AU; kidfic; fluffy fluff
Summary: AU in which Spock Prime came through the wormhole at the same time as Nero and it was Winona who died during the Kelvin attack. Hiding in plain sight, Spock takes a job as a nanny to protect George Kirk and his two young sons from Nero. Shenanigans ensue as Spock deals with the handful that is wee James T. Kirk, and makes himself indispensable to the young family.

Links:
To the story on AO3
To ttakooo’s great art
To Synnasai's great art
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
11 May 2014 @ 06:35 am
Title: Senses Working Overtime
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Rating: Explicit
Characters/Pairings: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Content Notice: Sensory deprivation, light bondage, blow job
Word Count: 1,000
Summary: Zach rarely has to work this hard. Some PWP for Pinto de Mayo – enjoy!

Chris is humming.

It's probably louder than he'd have done normally, but the noise canceling headphones are clearly screwing with his perception.



Title: Cake
Fandom: Star Trek RPF
Rating: Explicit
Characters/Pairings: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Content Notice: Fluff, dialogue-only
Word Count: 500
Summary: In which Chris overthinks dessert

“When I was a kid, I used to save my allowance and when I had enough, I’d go all by myself down to the corner market and I’d buy myself a can of chocolate frosting.”
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
29 April 2014 @ 08:51 am
Title: Chasing Tails
Rating: R for language
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble, Gen
Spoilers: Pilot
Content Notice: None
Word Count: 16k
Summary: Meet Neal Caffrey: convicted bond forger, suspected counterfeiter, art thief, con artist, dog whisperer. This is a canon divergent retelling of the Pilot

A/N: This is my White Collar Reverse Bang story for love_82.

Story on the AO3
Art post here

ChasingTailsCover

Additional art under cutCollapse )
 
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: Next Best Destiny, Chapter 11/11
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: Teen
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Cupcake; Uhura; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; Gaila; Gary Mitchell; Spock Prime, Scotty; Nero; Ayel; original characters
Word Count: 3,100 this chapter; 58k in total
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build; dubious science; hurt/comfort
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the (geeky) new officer in Sciences.

Chapter Summary: Angst. And smoochies.

To chapter 11
To main entry
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: Next Best Destiny, Chapter 10/11
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Cupcake; Uhura; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; Gaila; Gary Mitchell; Spock Prime, Scotty; Nero; Ayel; original characters
Word Count: 8,700 this chapter; 55k so far
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build; dubious science; hurt/comfort
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the (geeky) new officer in Sciences.

Chapter Summary: Time to save Spock. And oh yeah, Earth.

To chapter 10
To main entry
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
11 March 2014 @ 03:41 pm
Title: The Regular Miracles
Rating: Mature
Characters/Pairings: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth established relationship; Diana; OFC
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: hurt/comfort; angst
Word Count: 3,600
Summary: Funny how a life-changing diagnosis makes you appreciate the little things.

A series of timestamps in the Steal My Body Home ‘verse, better known as “aneurysm!Neal.” It helps to have read the original story.

A/N: This is Get Well REAL SOON fic for kanarek13. Title is a lyric from the song “A Bad Girl in Harlem” by New Politics.

Here be fic…Collapse )
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: Next Best Destiny, Chapter 9/?
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Cupcake; Uhura; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; Gaila; Gary Mitchell; Nero; original characters
Word Count: 5,000 this chapter; 46k so far
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build; dubious science; hurt/comfort
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the (geeky) new officer in Sciences.

Chapter Summary: A particularly troubled Romulan spoils everyone’s fun.

To chapter 9
To main entry
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
05 March 2014 @ 03:42 pm
Title: Next Best Destiny, Chapter 8/?
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Cupcake; Uhura; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; Gaila; Gary Mitchell; original characters
Word Count: 4,900 this chapter; 41k so far
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build; dubious science; hurt/comfort
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the (geeky) new officer in Sciences.

Chapter Summary: They can be friends. And colleagues. Yes.

On the AOS:
To chapter 8
To main entry
 
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
19 February 2014 @ 01:36 pm
Title: Sweater Weather
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Kirk/Spock
Content Notice: mega schmoop
Word Count: 1,500
Summary: Jim and Spock on their honeymoon cuddle up for warmth.

A/N: Title is from the song of the same name by The Neighbourhood (and I can’t get it out of my BRAIN and it just screamed Space Husbands to me, ALL RIGHT?). This story lives in the same universe as Letter Never Sent and Dead Letter Office.

On the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
16 February 2014 @ 03:24 pm
Title: Next Best Destiny – Chapter 6/?
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG-13 for now
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Cupcake; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; Gaila; Gary Mitchell; original characters
Spoilers: Star Trek (2009)
Word Count: This chapter: 11,000; Story to date: 32,000
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build; really dubious science; hurt/comfort
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the (geeky) new officer in Sciences.

Chapter 6: Jim makes himself useful.
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: We Two Boys Together Clinging
Author(s): Rabid Child
Fandom: Star Trek Reboot
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Kirk/Spock established relationship, Bones
Word Count: 21,800
Content Notice: kidfic, hurt/comfort
Summary: One day, 9-yr old Jim Kirk wakes up in the middle of nowhere with a big headache and no memory of how he got there. He’s not sure where he is, but it’s definitely not Earth, and there’s not another living soul around. Well, except for this other kid - an actual Vulcan! - who’s annoying at first, but turns out to be pretty useful to have around. Guess it’s time for the adventure of a lifetime he’s always wanted.

Story on AO3
Kanarek’s art

 
 
RabidChild's Fic
07 February 2014 @ 02:10 pm
Title: Sweetheart Come to Me
Fandom: Star Trek Reboot
Rating: Teen and up
Characters/Pairings: Jim/Spock established relationship; Bones; Uhura
Content Notice: Fluff, schmoop, shameless hurt/comfort
Word Count: 3.400
Summary: Endearments are illogical. Until they aren’t. Spock learns a lesson.

Notes:

My contribution to the Kirk/Spock heysweetheart challenge for Valentine’s. Title is a lyric from the song “Sweetheart Come” by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds.

Warning: This story was conceived and written by 12-year old me.

On the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: Next Best Destiny – Chapter 5/?
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG-13 for now
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Cupcake; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; Gaila; Gary Mitchell; original characters
Spoilers: Star Trek (2009)
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build; really dubious science
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the (geeky) new officer in Sciences.

Chapter 5: Gaila helps Jim feel better.
 
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: Next Best Destiny – Chapter 4/?
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG-13 for now
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Cupcake; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; Gaila; Gary Mitchell; original characters
Spoilers: Star Trek (2009)
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build; really dubious science
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the (geeky) new officer in Sciences.

Chapter 4: Jim makes some more friends.
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
26 January 2014 @ 03:18 pm
Title: Next Best Destiny – Chapters 2 & 3
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG-13 for now
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Cupcake; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; original characters
Spoilers: Star Trek (2009)
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build; really dubious science
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the new officer in Sciences.

Chapter 2: Jim’s first Away Mission is far from routine. Naturally.

Chapter 3: Jim gets a promotion and makes a discovery.

The Whole Shebang
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
20 January 2014 @ 03:11 pm
Title: Next Best Destiny – Chapter 1/?
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: PG for now
Characters/Pairings: Eventual Jim/Spock; Bones; Sulu; Chekov; Winona; original characters
Spoilers: Star Trek (2009)
Content Notice: Canon divergence; slow build
Word Count: 3,400
Summary: AU in which Spock is Captain and Jim the new officer in Sciences.

Chapter Summary: Lieutenant James T. Kirk’s first week on the Enterprise is nothing to write home about: he’s pretty sure Captain Spock thinks he’s an idiot, anyway.

A/N: This story is based on an AU that was spawned on Tumblr by @spatscolombo (I think) wherein Spock is Captain of the Enterprise and Jim his adorkable Science Officer who is also crushing on him. The story is particularly inspired by the art of @usscamelot, especially this one.

On the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
19 January 2014 @ 06:37 am
Title: LOLCat Henri vs. Doge
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Henri, Neal, Doge
Spoilers: None
Word Count: 1,700
Summary: Henri makes a new friend.

A/N: Yes. I went there.

Based on a dare from elrhiarhodan and also for the occasion of kanarek13’s birthday.

Here be fic…Collapse )
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
15 January 2014 @ 03:29 pm
As seen on sahiya's, elrhiarhodan's and angelita26's journals!/ I never give up the opportunity to navel-gaze.

The questions below are just suggestions. Ask me anything about my writing! Alternatively, you can ask:

1) What I was thinking at the time I wrote a story, or a question about my writing as a whole. The question can be about anything, including my WIPs.

2) Pick a character/pairing I've written and I will explain the top five ideas, concepts, etc. I try to keep in mind while writing that character/pairing.

3) Quote a few lines from something I've written and I'll comment on them.

4) At AO3 I have a total of 171 works - pick one and I'll tell you three things about it. Alternatively, if you want to ask about White Collar, there are 129 of those (pick a number from 1-129) and for Star Trek, I've got 31.

5) Pick a story and I'll tell you what happened the minute/day/week (I will choose) after the story ended
 
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
05 January 2014 @ 11:04 am
Title: Smooth as…
Fandom: Reboot
Rating: Explicit
Characters/Pairings: Jim/Spock; Bones
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: crossdressing kink, shoe kink
Word Count: 500
Summary: Jim in silk pantyhose and heels. For reasons.

A/N: Inspired by Ivycross’s Tumblr post, which is VERY NSFW.

All hail Smuturday!

On the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
04 January 2014 @ 05:49 pm
Title: Three Ficlets
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Neal/Peter; Neal/Sara
Spoilers: See works
Summary: Three ficlets written for writing challenges in November.

A/N: Ugh, I was out all day today and couldn’t finish what I wanted to post for Day 12 of the Twelve Days of Ficmas. So have a few unpublished drabbles and ficlets left over from the WC in DC Fandom Meet-up last November.

The first was written for qwertyfaced’s drabble writing contest; I was very honored to have won. The prompt I got was “photo.” This was written prior to the airing of No Good Deed. Spoilers for S5.

Fic #1…Collapse )

These next two were written for a “Three Words and a Genre” challenge. The words were pet, enormous, and alcohol, and the genre was tropes. The first one’s only a little bit naughty. No warnings.

Fic #2…Collapse )


We had 30 minutes to write, and I had time left, so I also wrote this one:

Fic #3…Collapse )

Thank you for your time.
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
03 January 2014 @ 02:31 pm
Heh, this is what happens when I get a snow day:

Imagine, after Nero, Jim and Spock are hailed as heroes and approached by Hollywood Producers to make a movie about their story. Only Hollywood in the 23rd century is no longer an entertainment industry in southern California, it's now an entire planet, and the Producers are their ruling class. So Jim is flattered and Spock goes along for the ride to make sure his big, dopey captain doesn't do anything stupid.

Before they arrive, they’re encouraged by their driver not to sign anything, a warning Jim manages to muck up almost immediately – he signed for a burger from room service, but neglected to read the fine print – so now the rights to his life (not his life story, his life) are owned by an entertainment conglomerate and he can never leave Hollywood until awards season is over, but that never happens.

Spock protests but can do nothing, and is accused of being “difficult to work with” and is blacklisted (exiled). He finds help among a band of underground rebels known as Indies who propose a daring plan to rescue Jim from the clutches of the Studio Head (the supreme leader of the planet), but it fails to get off the ground because their financing falls through.

Jim, meanwhile, is being held captive by the Studio Head, who keeps asking intensely personal questions about his relationship with Spock and muses whether they might be able to “write him out” (i.e. kill him). A little freaked out, Jim hacks into the planet’s information grid and manages to make contact with a group of dissidents known as Pfangrls who advise him on kinks in the network known as plotholes in order to help him to find a way out of the Studio Head’s backlot so he can be reunited with his OTL, Spock (Jim protests that while he wouldn’t say no to a date or whatever, he barely knows Spock, at which the Pfangrls smirk knowingly and send him NSFW fan art).

Jim plays along, but just as he is about to escape, he finds his plan thwarted by the Studio Head himself, who starts firing off missiles at Jim because he would rather destroy the entire franchise than allow the Pfangrls to get their way. Spotting a hole in the wall, Jim escapes and is reunited with a waiting Spock, but when the Studio Head sees them touching, he shrieks, “No homo!” and literally self-destructs (the Studio Head is an android, powered by spurious market research – DUN). The planet falls into chaos but is saved at the last minute by none other than the long-thought-dead leader of the Indies, Davis X. Makenna, who happened to have been Jim and Spock’s driver AND the person who secretly plotted to get the Producers to offer Jim and Spock movie deals in the first place (DUN-DUN-DUN).

Jim and Spock, disgusted by everyone, call the Enterprise for a pickup and threaten to send the entire planet spinning into a nearby black hole (known locally as Turnaround) unless they all just back the hell up, because they do that shit all the time, just try them, GOD.

Back safely on the Enterprise bridge, Jim tells the crew about how everyone in Hollywood seemed to be obsessed with his and Spock’s relationship, and have you guys ever heard such a ridonkulous thing, LOL, to which everyone nervously laughs and can’t look him in the eye, and Spock raises an eyebrow and says, “Speak for yourself.”

Submitted to imaginespirk’s Tumblr
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
03 January 2014 @ 11:14 am
Lookie what kanarek13 made for me! I can't even begin to squee hard enough

 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: Five Times Uhura and Sulu Dated Before They Realized They Were a Couple
Rating: PG
Fandom: Star Trek TOS
Characters/Pairings: Uhura/Sulu pre-relationship
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Word Count: ~4,200
Summary: What it says on the tin.

A/N: This is a Happy Trekmas story for shiftedsideways, who wanted TOS Uhura/Sulu (though I confess my characterizations are probably more contemporary than they should be).

This is also for Day 11 of the Twelve Days of Ficmas.

On the AO3
 
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
02 January 2014 @ 08:37 am
Title: Outside Looking In
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Neal/Peter pre-relationship, Elizabeth
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: Unrequited; hurt/comfort
Word Count: 1,100
Summary: Peter told him he was in love with him. Who wouldn’t want that?

A/N: This was written for Round 3 of the ficwriting bracket pool during last November’s White Collar fandom meet-up in DC. The genre was porn and the prompt was open relationship, and I just couldn’t put two and two together to make four, like, AT ALL. So I just angsted my pants. Emotion-as-porn? No wonder I lost, LOL…

For the purpose of this story, we'll just also pretend Peter being a total douche canoe this season hasn't happened either, shall we? Thanks.

My offering for Day 10 of the Twelve Days of Ficmas.

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RabidChild's Fic
Title: The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Fandom: Written as TOS – but you could read it as Reboot if you like
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Ensemble, gen
Content Notice: Holiday shenanigans; there are kids, but I swear it’s not a kidfic
Word Count: ~4,500
Summary: The Enterprise’s traditionally adult-oriented Christmas celebration is interrupted by a bunch of kids. Just another challenge for the most resourceful crew in the ‘fleet.

A/N: This was my Happy Trekmas gift to yetanothermask, who wanted “hilarity at an Enterprise party.” I can only hope it’s hilarious, but there is a party…

For Day 9 of the Twelve Days of Ficmas Challenge.

On the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
31 December 2013 @ 10:42 am
Title: Ain’t No Sunshine When She’s Gone
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: Fluff; h/c; babies; AU
Word Count: 5,000
Summary: Five times Peter and Neal had to deal without Elizabeth.

A/N: This is set in my “Five Times” ‘verse, which I haven’t written for in, like, FOREVER. No need to have read it or anything; here is background so you don’t have to: stories span their entire lives, and the OT3 are eventually in a committed relationship and have a child together. It’s a total AU after about mid-season 2, so no Nazis or treasure or Cape Verde or fucking trust issues – GOD!

The title, of course, is from Bill Withers’ most excellent song, “Ain’t No Sunshine,” some lyrics of which are also put to good use

For Day 8 of the Twelve Days of Ficmas Challenge.

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RabidChild's Fic
30 December 2013 @ 05:29 am
Title: A Cure for What Ails
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Peter/Elizabeth
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: Sickfic
Word Count: ~1,600
Summary: For the prompt “role reversal.”

A/N: This was originally written as a fill in the bracket writing pool at the White Collar Fandom Meet-up this last November, but I never published it. I’ve polished it and made it suitable for framing. Or something.

For Day 7 of my fourth annual Twelve Days of Ficmas Challenge.

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RabidChild's Fic
29 December 2013 @ 05:22 am
Title: Sex on Fire, a Pon Farr Song Parody
Fandom: TOS
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Jim/Spock
Spoilers: Amok Time
Content Notice: None
Word Count: <200
Summary: OMG, did I just write a song parody of “Sex on Fire” by Kings of Leon?

A/N: I’m sorry. (not sorry)

For Day 6 of the Twelve Days of Ficmas.

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RabidChild's Fic
28 December 2013 @ 06:08 am
Title: Live Through This
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Moz, Jones; established Neal/Jones
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: hurt/comfort
Word Count: 1,700
Summary: With Neal on the edge of death, Clint finds comfort and support where he least expects it.

A/N: This is a timestamp to my “Undeniable Chemistry” series, set sometime in the middle of I Keep Missing You. A recap of the story thus far: Keller kidnapped Neal to help him forge an artwork and Neal betrayed him; when the FBI caught up to them, Keller grabbed a gun and shot Neal three times.

For Day 5 of my annual Twelve Days of Ficmas challenge.

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RabidChild's Fic
27 December 2013 @ 08:48 am
Title: How Do You Choose Not to Feel?
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Chris Pine/Zachary Quinto
Spoilers: STID
Content Notice: RPF
Word Count: 1,200
Summary: Zach has too many feels filming that scene in STID.

A/N: Baby’s first Pinto – be kind.

For Day 4 of my annual Twelve Days of Ficmas challenge. Also, I think this fills my death fic requirement for my H/C Bingo card, so yay \o/

On the AO3
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: The Adventures of Captain Neal of Star Command
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Neal, Elizabeth, Satchmo, Peter
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: Fluff, kidfic
Word Count: 1,500
Summary: Neal and Satchmo spend the day in Neal's imagination; Elizabeth is a reluctant, if amused, participant.

A/N: Timestamp in my “Kid Neal Chronicles." This was originally written as a fill in the first round of the bracket writing pool at the White Collar Fandom Meet-up this last November, but I never really published it. I’ve since added a few things to make it fit into this 'verse. It is not necessary to have read the other stories to figure this one out: Neal has been deaged and it is not reversible; he is 5 in this story.

For Day 3 of my fourth annual Twelve Days of Ficmas Challenge.

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RabidChild's Fic
25 December 2013 @ 05:06 am
Title: I Didn’t Know I Was Lost
Rating: R/Mature
Characters/Pairings: Jim/Spock, ensemble in bit parts
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: Coffeehouse AU, because that’s exactly what this fandom needs more of; frottage \o/
Word Count: 8,800
Summary: Jim is the worst barista of ever. But really, this story is about Spock trying to find himself. Story inspired by this Tumblr post.

A/N: I don’t know what this is – the first of a series, probably? Also, it’s for museaway/museattack, whose prompts I can never resist.

For Day 2 of my fourth annual Twelve Days of Ficmas Challenge. Title is a lyric from the song “Wake Me Up” by Avicii.

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RabidChild's Fic
24 December 2013 @ 05:00 am
Title: A Very Henri Christmas
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Neal, LOLCat Henri, ensemble
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: Crack
Word Count: 1,800
Summary: Henri really gets into the Christmas Spirit thing; where he fails is the execushons

A/N: For Day 1 of my fourth annual Twelve Days of Ficmas Challenge.

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RabidChild's Fic
14 December 2013 @ 12:08 pm
Title: The Guardian of Kusanagi
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Neal/Peter pre-slash; Jones, OFC
Spoilers: None
Content Notice:H/C, angst, casefic, and transformations
Word Count: ~7,800
Summary: “You’ll miss me when I’m gone.” Peter never thought he’d live to see that come true.

A/N: For White Collar H/C Advent, and this prompt from love_82: “Presumed Dead is one of my favorite tropes so I would love to see a story with that. Someone or someones are thought to be dead. Then the Christmas miracle where they find their way home or are found.”

This is Christmasy in that it’s set at Christmas time. That’s all I’ve got.

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RabidChild's Fic
Title: Command Track Senior Seminar
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Reboot Jim Kirk, Christopher Pike
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: Academy era; abuse of TOS canon; humor; dialogue-only
Word Count: ~600
Summary: The lectures for Captain Pike's advanced command track seminar are very comprehensive

A/N: This popped into my head on the train this morning. Don’t even ask me why.

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RabidChild's Fic
03 December 2013 @ 09:03 am
Title: Keep Christmas Well
Author: rabidchild
Series: Reboot
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Jim/Spock established relationship, ensemble
Spoilers: None
Warnings: EXTREME schmoop, like srsly, check your blood glucose levels
Word Count: 4,300
Summary: In which Jim is a Grinch and Spock, surprisingly, is not.

A/N: For Kirk/Spock Advent – whee! Title is a line from Dickens’ A Christmas Carol because I lack imagination.

Special thanks to Ashley and Amanda for co-hosting this each year (not to mention their patience with me)!

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RabidChild's Fic
28 November 2013 @ 08:06 pm
Merging a little Chuck with a lot of WC - love the Peter-Neal dynamic and Neal/Sara relationship. Super dramatic and angsty.



Vidder: Ssplishable
 
 
RabidChild's Fic
Title: LOLCat Henri vs. the True Meaning of Thanksgiving
Rating: G
Characters/Pairings: Neal, LOLCat Henri, Elizabeth
Spoilers: None
Content Notice: Hirt/comfor, appreciashons
Word Count: ~1,400
Summary: Henri learns not to take things for granted.

A/N: Happy Thanksgivukkah, everybody!

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